Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Gesargenplotzian Liturgical Calendar

Church of the Great Gesargenplotz

Provisional Liturgical Calendar

(adopted by the Council of Pembroke, 2 March AI 17)
3 January
Liberation Day (on which the GG ate the EE)
2 February
Groundhog Day (previously established)
22 February
Rabbit Day (when the rabbits play)
Eatser, or Revelation Night, night of the full moon nearest March 14 (commemorating the revelation of the GG to the Chosen One) [if this night is clear in a given area, that area is said to be 'clear' for liturgical purposes for the entire year, otherwise the area is 'cloudy'. (the significance of this is unknown)]
19 April
Kite Day (on which Gesargenplotzians are urged to fly kites and to consider that life, like a kite, requires special conditions to operate at all, never lasts forever, but is sometimes worth the trouble anyway.)
5 May
Frolic Day (self-explanatory)
8 June
Princess of the Gerbils Day (on which to contemplate our sentience, which we owe to the EE, and which we have in common with other animals)
15 July
Poppin' Fresh Day
24 August
Dog Day (heretofore August had several dog days, but Gesargenplotzianism has reduced it to one)
29 September
Some Day (traditional time for reunion of Gesargenplotzian friends, who often part with the ritual expression "see you Some Day") (certain schismatics hold that this is properly Thumb Day)
13 October
Fledermaus Tag (scheduled to be redesignated Your Day in AI 33 (1995 in the common reckoning) (Your Day will come)
late November
Turkey Day, last Thursday in November (No Thanks, please)
25 December
Gifts-From-Us Day (who else would the gifts be from?) (often contracted to 'Gifsmus')
Authenticated, 28 February AI 27
Harlan B. Miller
Archbullshop and CO

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